Laying down on the bed by myself these nights
The loneliness feeling hit me like a tsunami
Drowns me, drag me deep down into the ocean
No matter how hard i fight against the current
I am still drowning, still surrounding by the cold dark feeling
Mental strength is useless cause i am still screaming
Screaming for your name from my heart
I thought I already let go, I told myself I need to let go
Trying to forget you is like trying to remember someone I never met
From an angel's wing to a falling star, God made everything, but an unbreakable heart
I wish i can mend it, fix it or glue it
But how can I pick it up whist you are the only one can turn it from ashes to pieces
11.10.09
19.9.09
It is time
It is time to perform a cardiopulmonary resuscitation for my blog LOL
Yea, I am still alive, may be not for long cos I had been having farewell and welcoming party for months..
You are not going to believe the amount of alcohol I had been consumed for the past few months
Anyway, gonna get my ass back to Melbourne real soon, by the end of next month
But before that, I gotta sit for a stupid examination, it is called the Common Recruitment Examination
It is like some entry ticket to work for the HK government...
FFS, exam again... damn, honestly I haven't done shit for it and I have no idea what it is, God Bless me LOL
Anyway, here is some pictures I wanna share with my Florence's friends since they PLAN to come to HK by the end of this year or next year, here is a few place I will bring you guys beside shopping =]
1. -20 degree Vodka Bar (some of you might notice that I have a few pic with this fur on)
2. Peanut bar (time to be a monkey to have free peanut and throw all the shell onto the floor)
3. This is a must go place for you guys, so I gonna leave it as a surprise for you
Yea, I am still alive, may be not for long cos I had been having farewell and welcoming party for months..
You are not going to believe the amount of alcohol I had been consumed for the past few months
Anyway, gonna get my ass back to Melbourne real soon, by the end of next month
But before that, I gotta sit for a stupid examination, it is called the Common Recruitment Examination
It is like some entry ticket to work for the HK government...
FFS, exam again... damn, honestly I haven't done shit for it and I have no idea what it is, God Bless me LOL
Anyway, here is some pictures I wanna share with my Florence's friends since they PLAN to come to HK by the end of this year or next year, here is a few place I will bring you guys beside shopping =]
1. -20 degree Vodka Bar (some of you might notice that I have a few pic with this fur on)
2. Peanut bar (time to be a monkey to have free peanut and throw all the shell onto the floor)
3. This is a must go place for you guys, so I gonna leave it as a surprise for you
3.9.09
Bitter smile
It has been a while that I didn't update my blog...
I know, I know....
Well I just woke up from my nap again, I am sick recently, so need to stay at home almost everyday..hahaha
Have you ever experienced a series of dream?? I just did
It is quite dramatic and western
No one want to hear the story, well, fuck it, I gonna write it down anyway
I bet everyone watch the movie "Ghost Rider" right
So in my dream, I am just a normal person driving along some random western off-road with my friend, but then there is a cart behind us, a cart with all the silver skeleton decoration on it, but it is ok tho it is a bit weird. Then all of a sudden there is a group of those modified sport cars, yea like those cars in the latest "Fast and Furious", instead of those nice Japanese sport car, they are those 4WD and old school Mustang. Anyway, they just begin to hunt us down for no reason, and the skeleton like stableman stood up and protect us, crushing their cars and dodging bullets and stuff like that... then I heard the boss of the gang offer 1M to take down the stableman, now remember this car, cos it will appear in my dream series 2.
This shinny sky-blue old school convertible Mustang with a buffalo skull on the front take the offer, keep pushing us, and shooting at us.. May be you can kind of expected the cart and the Mustang is both down in the end, yup, they are..wait so what happen to us?? Our car was already destroyed and being sucked into the cart like a magic trick... so at last every single of my friend is gone to meet with GOD, only me remain. Well anyway, I was being asked to take care or to take control of the.... Mustang, I don't know why I agree with it.. just imagine it as a shinny sky-blue convertible mustang with a buffalo skull of it
after then I need to pee in reality, so I woke up.. still wanna read more?? ok
After the attack, I was driving in this weird place, it is a combination of dessert, city and seashore... I tried so hard to figure out where the hell am I, at last I did, I was in Nigeria, the boarder of Nigeria. There are some three-wheels-smart-car like tram on the road, and of course busy traffic, so I just drive and drift (since when i know how to drift). After I reach this cafe, it is a beautiful cafe, it is by the sea, then there is a group of Vietnamese chatting about how things going in Melbourne, and blablabla, I found out that my girlfriend (my ex in reality) was getting into some trouble in Mel with them, so I gotta squeeze out some information from them, yea it is exactly like what you think it is, I beat them up badly, but still get nothing. So I went for some weapons, because I only get a shotgun in my car, it belong to the previous driver. The moment I left the cafe, the cops over there start to hunt me down, and now "Fast and Furious" is on, a lot of drifting, speeding involved around the city. At last I found this military plane, those big ass one agree to take me to Melbourne with my ride and a cargo of weapons. THEN, my mom call me...
So this is the finale of my dream, I don't know how I found the group that my girlfriend mess with, they were friends before, just don't know why all of a sudden become like this, o well, i bet some of you might know.... anyway, I called all my friends from different countries, like from the state, Uk, Canada and Hk. It is like two group of people yelling at each other, push around and shit like this. Once I take her back, have her in my arms again, she cried and seems she went through a lot of shit. Then the V group said something really nasty and disgusting, so what is next? I jump into my cargo, giving all my friend a bomb which painted as a baseball, baseball?? whatever, the only thing I took with me is a really sharp and thin military knife, I hide it in my socks. There is no gang fight or any explosion happen. Because I agree I will race with all of them by myself, the one who lose lost everything, (wow so heroic).. Yea, you know the ending right, I win, thanks to the car, but but the car is not a transformer, it just know where to go and what to do to defeat the enemies.. in the end, my girlfriend smile again. And along with the smile, i woke up and said
WTF......
I miss her..
I know, I know....
Well I just woke up from my nap again, I am sick recently, so need to stay at home almost everyday..hahaha
Have you ever experienced a series of dream?? I just did
It is quite dramatic and western
No one want to hear the story, well, fuck it, I gonna write it down anyway
I bet everyone watch the movie "Ghost Rider" right
So in my dream, I am just a normal person driving along some random western off-road with my friend, but then there is a cart behind us, a cart with all the silver skeleton decoration on it, but it is ok tho it is a bit weird. Then all of a sudden there is a group of those modified sport cars, yea like those cars in the latest "Fast and Furious", instead of those nice Japanese sport car, they are those 4WD and old school Mustang. Anyway, they just begin to hunt us down for no reason, and the skeleton like stableman stood up and protect us, crushing their cars and dodging bullets and stuff like that... then I heard the boss of the gang offer 1M to take down the stableman, now remember this car, cos it will appear in my dream series 2.
This shinny sky-blue old school convertible Mustang with a buffalo skull on the front take the offer, keep pushing us, and shooting at us.. May be you can kind of expected the cart and the Mustang is both down in the end, yup, they are..wait so what happen to us?? Our car was already destroyed and being sucked into the cart like a magic trick... so at last every single of my friend is gone to meet with GOD, only me remain. Well anyway, I was being asked to take care or to take control of the.... Mustang, I don't know why I agree with it.. just imagine it as a shinny sky-blue convertible mustang with a buffalo skull of it
after then I need to pee in reality, so I woke up.. still wanna read more?? okAfter the attack, I was driving in this weird place, it is a combination of dessert, city and seashore... I tried so hard to figure out where the hell am I, at last I did, I was in Nigeria, the boarder of Nigeria. There are some three-wheels-smart-car like tram on the road, and of course busy traffic, so I just drive and drift (since when i know how to drift). After I reach this cafe, it is a beautiful cafe, it is by the sea, then there is a group of Vietnamese chatting about how things going in Melbourne, and blablabla, I found out that my girlfriend (my ex in reality) was getting into some trouble in Mel with them, so I gotta squeeze out some information from them, yea it is exactly like what you think it is, I beat them up badly, but still get nothing. So I went for some weapons, because I only get a shotgun in my car, it belong to the previous driver. The moment I left the cafe, the cops over there start to hunt me down, and now "Fast and Furious" is on, a lot of drifting, speeding involved around the city. At last I found this military plane, those big ass one agree to take me to Melbourne with my ride and a cargo of weapons. THEN, my mom call me...
So this is the finale of my dream, I don't know how I found the group that my girlfriend mess with, they were friends before, just don't know why all of a sudden become like this, o well, i bet some of you might know.... anyway, I called all my friends from different countries, like from the state, Uk, Canada and Hk. It is like two group of people yelling at each other, push around and shit like this. Once I take her back, have her in my arms again, she cried and seems she went through a lot of shit. Then the V group said something really nasty and disgusting, so what is next? I jump into my cargo, giving all my friend a bomb which painted as a baseball, baseball?? whatever, the only thing I took with me is a really sharp and thin military knife, I hide it in my socks. There is no gang fight or any explosion happen. Because I agree I will race with all of them by myself, the one who lose lost everything, (wow so heroic).. Yea, you know the ending right, I win, thanks to the car, but but the car is not a transformer, it just know where to go and what to do to defeat the enemies.. in the end, my girlfriend smile again. And along with the smile, i woke up and said
WTF......
I miss her..
11.8.09
2.8.09
Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed
Thought the wound is healed, though not completely
But at least it won't feel the pain again, I think
Actually the blood that beyond the wound is awaiting
Waiting for a chance to break through the wound and flood again
The funny thing is I am the one who break the dam to let it flow
I ask myself what do I want from you and myself? I don't know
Is it really that important? Is that you or me to cause all this pain
Maybe, but it doesn't matter now
Being here, it is just so empty and lonely
I am not good at expressing in words
But it is so vivid that I can see there is a circle of darkness around me
So tired of drowning all the thoughts by alcohol
You still cannot see it right now, is it?
Because your gaze won't land on my anymore
Or is me thinking too much
From the song that i have been addicted to
"If you were willing to peel away the layers surrounding my heart
You’d realize, you’d marvel that
You are my deepest, darkest secret
If you were willing to peal away the layers surrounding my heart
You would feel the sting of tears
I want you to hear me, see my sincerity....
I’m like an onion, forever in a supporting role
How I wish to have a moment for just the two of us"
But at least it won't feel the pain again, I think
Actually the blood that beyond the wound is awaiting
Waiting for a chance to break through the wound and flood again
The funny thing is I am the one who break the dam to let it flow
I ask myself what do I want from you and myself? I don't know
Is it really that important? Is that you or me to cause all this pain
Maybe, but it doesn't matter now
Being here, it is just so empty and lonely
I am not good at expressing in words
But it is so vivid that I can see there is a circle of darkness around me
So tired of drowning all the thoughts by alcohol
You still cannot see it right now, is it?
Because your gaze won't land on my anymore
Or is me thinking too much
From the song that i have been addicted to
"If you were willing to peel away the layers surrounding my heart
You’d realize, you’d marvel that
You are my deepest, darkest secret
If you were willing to peal away the layers surrounding my heart
You would feel the sting of tears
I want you to hear me, see my sincerity....
I’m like an onion, forever in a supporting role
How I wish to have a moment for just the two of us"
23.7.09
8.7.09
4.7.09
Skydiving is purely AWESOME
Skydiving, Skydiving, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!
Ok enough said, here is the photo
Thanks Roy for the company up the sky
Thanks to Roy, William and Khai accompany me to skydive.
Don't like gravity now, go away =[
Ok enough said, here is the photo
Thanks Roy for the company up the sky Thanks to Roy, William and Khai accompany me to skydive.
Don't like gravity now, go away =[
1.7.09
Cleaning up and more cleaning up
Cleaning up the drawers which suppose to be clean ages ago
I found so many things, so many memories
Everything that belong to the past
Some belong to the locked chest
But once again, this Pandora's box is opened
All the past is running like a film, scene by scene
Connect, join to each other
All the details is slowing popping out in my mind
The memory bubble blast and turn into this smoke can invade every spaces in the mind
Thinking, rethinking; tasting, re-tasting...
Then.........Smile bitterly
Pathetic...right
I found so many things, so many memories
Everything that belong to the past
Some belong to the locked chest
But once again, this Pandora's box is opened
All the past is running like a film, scene by scene
Connect, join to each other
All the details is slowing popping out in my mind
The memory bubble blast and turn into this smoke can invade every spaces in the mind
Thinking, rethinking; tasting, re-tasting...
Then.........Smile bitterly
Pathetic...right
22.6.09
19.6.09
17 more days to go..
Time is running out
Both of my time in studying and the time in Mel
I gotta admit, I will miss all of my friends here
Um...mel....I am not sure, I like a few places here
But I cannot find myself attach here..
I miss the freedom and all the fun
But what is the fun without good company!!! right
Before I shifted in
they are like... dota addict?
But now...look at them =]
Oh, someone is missing in that photo
so here we go
Argh..can't everyone just squeeze into one photo lol
Basically, they are all my spices in Melbourne
Thanks for making things more tasty for me
Will miss you all when I leave..
I can smell the unique scent of my hometown
But I don't want to go back too soon
I am just not ready
Fucking exam please come faster
Let me enjoy the time before I go back...
Both of my time in studying and the time in Mel
I gotta admit, I will miss all of my friends here
Um...mel....I am not sure, I like a few places here
But I cannot find myself attach here..
I miss the freedom and all the fun
But what is the fun without good company!!! right
Before I shifted in
they are like... dota addict?
But now...look at them =]
Oh, someone is missing in that photo
so here we go
Argh..can't everyone just squeeze into one photo lol
Basically, they are all my spices in Melbourne
Thanks for making things more tasty for me
Will miss you all when I leave..
I can smell the unique scent of my hometown
But I don't want to go back too soon
I am just not ready
Fucking exam please come faster
Let me enjoy the time before I go back...
Just found this picture from my high school teacher album
I like it a lot, tho it is nothing special
It's just a random snap shot from him
It's plain like water, as simple as ABC
But don't you think sometimes...
Less is more
Like you own few apartments, but all you need is just a single bed to sleep
So why bother yourself so much to go after all those extra things
Just live happily, live as yourself and enjoy every moment you inhale
17.6.09
Good Luck to all my friends
Good luck to those who already finished the evil exam
Good luck to those who is going to sit for exam
Hope you guys can get a good result =]
Especially to who is going to sit for the exam in few hours time in Frankston
Hope you won't overslept and miss the bus hahahah
PS: hope all of you can leave the examination hall with your head held high =]
Marcuz
Good luck to those who is going to sit for exam
Hope you guys can get a good result =]
Especially to who is going to sit for the exam in few hours time in Frankston
Hope you won't overslept and miss the bus hahahah
PS: hope all of you can leave the examination hall with your head held high =]
Marcuz
12.6.09
7.6.09
Deprivation
Do you ever have the feeling that everything has been taken away from you slowly
Bit by bit
Slowly strip you off, it is too late when you realize that
You have nothing left, but just a bunch of broken pieces lying on the ground
All the wounds, shattered memory are lying in front of you
You have nothing but loneliness
Skin and bones
Mind and soul
They are no longer with you with you
They are being in controlled by the other
Damn
3.6.09
jump jump jump
1! 2! 3! Jump
I like this photo
Beside it shows the wildness of me
Also I hope I am able to jump out of my past
May be this will take longer than just jumping down from the post *duh*
Hopefully there is sunlight awaiting for me when I reach the floor
28.5.09
Scrolling through the old photos
Notice you are already far gone
But every moment that we shared still branded inside me
No more sadness that you are gone
Just want to know how is your life sincerely
But there is no point to disturb your new life
I wish you happy with him, and everything in the future
I still smile when I look at our photo
Though lots of things happened between us
But the time that we had is precious
Thanks for everything that you taught me
Thanks for every memories that you gave me
Although it is a bit too late for me to reckon what is lack in me
But I will keep on trying to look for it
All the best girl, I believe you will be famous in time
Notice you are already far gone
But every moment that we shared still branded inside me
No more sadness that you are gone
Just want to know how is your life sincerely
But there is no point to disturb your new life
I wish you happy with him, and everything in the future
I still smile when I look at our photo
Though lots of things happened between us
But the time that we had is precious
Thanks for everything that you taught me
Thanks for every memories that you gave me
Although it is a bit too late for me to reckon what is lack in me
But I will keep on trying to look for it
All the best girl, I believe you will be famous in time
TIme's up
It is time to walk out the shadow
It is time to plan for the future
It is time to do something for myself
It is time to be a better person
It is time to be more mature
It is time to grow
It is time to seek the covered potential
It is just about time start walking by myself again
It is time to stop regretting about the past
It is time to stop chasing the past
Everything just end and start at the right moment
Look into the future, though we don't know what it holds
But it is just about right to build the not-yet-finish bridge to connect to the bigger picture
I said everything from my heart
I told you my deepest feeling
Yet, there is one promise I haven't fulfilled
I will do it soon in time
After that, I really did everything I can and promised
What will happen next, who knows?
Lets the future reveal by itself
Lets the mysterious remind mystery
I will always love you
I will always miss you
You are always someone special to me
But it is time to say goodbye
It is time to plan for the future
It is time to do something for myself
It is time to be a better person
It is time to be more mature
It is time to grow
It is time to seek the covered potential
It is just about time start walking by myself again
It is time to stop regretting about the past
It is time to stop chasing the past
Everything just end and start at the right moment
Look into the future, though we don't know what it holds
But it is just about right to build the not-yet-finish bridge to connect to the bigger picture
I said everything from my heart
I told you my deepest feeling
Yet, there is one promise I haven't fulfilled
I will do it soon in time
After that, I really did everything I can and promised
What will happen next, who knows?
Lets the future reveal by itself
Lets the mysterious remind mystery
I will always love you
I will always miss you
You are always someone special to me
But it is time to say goodbye
a must-read blog to pump up my emo-ness
http://thedreaminginsomniac.xanga.com/
it was so much easier to pretend
cos pretending didn't take effort.
pretending didn't make my heart ache.
it didn't make everything hurt in the
absence of your affection.
pretending made it easier to push you away
but all the more difficult to get over you.
i can't work out how the greatest plan
has got me feeling more alone than ever.
nor can i work out how pushing you away
could have worked so damn well.
it took me quite some time but i worked it out.
and realizing that you were never really mine..
i'd rather have to legitimately lose you
over and over and over again
than have to remember.
the first time, you meant it.
but now, it's just out of
obligation and god,
it hurts.
it was so much easier to pretend
cos pretending didn't take effort.
pretending didn't make my heart ache.
it didn't make everything hurt in the
absence of your affection.
pretending made it easier to push you away
but all the more difficult to get over you.
i can't work out how the greatest plan
has got me feeling more alone than ever.
nor can i work out how pushing you away
could have worked so damn well.
it took me quite some time but i worked it out.
and realizing that you were never really mine..
i'd rather have to legitimately lose you
over and over and over again
than have to remember.
the first time, you meant it.
but now, it's just out of
obligation and god,
it hurts.
24.5.09
If there are times in life that will make you feeling trapped
I am there right now
Everything is dangling out in the dark cold night
Do you ever had the same feeling?
I hope it won't happen on you, everyone
One word, one action can affect your decision, your emotion and your judgment
Why
Why I cannot be like before, just walk away with my head hail high
Cause of guilt? Cause of love?
I am really tired of being pull down while I am trying to go on with my life
Damn it, screw it, fuck it
I am there right now
Everything is dangling out in the dark cold night
Do you ever had the same feeling?
I hope it won't happen on you, everyone
One word, one action can affect your decision, your emotion and your judgment
Why
Why I cannot be like before, just walk away with my head hail high
Cause of guilt? Cause of love?
I am really tired of being pull down while I am trying to go on with my life
Damn it, screw it, fuck it
Fish leong
For all my banana friend such as MKB, Khai
我坚持的 都值得坚持吗
Are those I insist on all worth my insistence?
我所相信的 就是真的吗
Are those I believe really true?
如果我敢追求 我就敢拥有吗
If I dare to pursue, will I dare to possess?
而如果 都算了 不要呢
And what if I forget all and let it go?
或许吧
Maybe!
或许我永远都不会遇见他
Maybe I would never meet him
或许吧
Maybe!
或许我太天真了吧
Maybe I'm too innocent!
属于我的昨天之前的结局
The ending that belonged to me before yesterday
我决定我的决定
I made my decision
属于我的明天之后的憧憬
The expectancy that will belong to me after tomorrow
我迷信我的迷信
I'll believe in my superstition
属于我们点点滴滴的伤心
Every bit of sorrow that belongs to us,
我们要各自忘记
we have to forget it separately
属于我们闪闪发亮的爱情
The shining love that belongs to us,
我们再一起努力
we'll strive for it together
我们还要努力
We still have to strive for it
属于风的 那就去飞翔吧
What belongs to the wind, just let it fly
属于海洋的 那就汹涌吧
What belongs to the sea, just let it surge
属于我们的爱
The love that belongs to us
该来的 就来吧
If it's fated to come, just let it come
为什么 不敢呢 不要呢
Why don't we dare to accept it?
是他吧
It's him!
命中早就注定了的那个他
The one who has already been fated for me
是他吧
It's him!
他原来就在这里啊
He is actually right here!
19.5.09
I think I figure out why am I so emo...
The reason is
"I know I can get over you, but I don't want to get over you."
"I know I can get over you, but I don't want to get over you."
Life has its ups and downs
Just let me float around in the endless life-sea
Though it is dark and cold
Though it brings pain and torture
But just let me float around them
Until the last drop of blood, last piece of me disappear
Hope can reform myself somewhere else slowly
Collect my flesh and soul bit by bit
Damn
Just let me float around in the endless life-sea
Though it is dark and cold
Though it brings pain and torture
But just let me float around them
Until the last drop of blood, last piece of me disappear
Hope can reform myself somewhere else slowly
Collect my flesh and soul bit by bit
Damn
why it seems so difficult this time
Well, another emo post again,
Not intended to turn this blog into such a emo place
But things that I can control won't bother me this much
Or I should say I can manage study, health and other stuff very well
However, there is only one thing that keep bugging me
sigh... what the deuce
Seldom struggle this long for a relationship before
Is it the price to pay for changes?
May be it doesn't worth being a new me cos it hurt more than it can bear
But ffs, I try to forget, but can never forgo
It is stupid to wait, it is stupid to let yourself stuck here
How come I cannot pull myself out this time
I don't want to pretend nothing's wrong already...
It is too tiring
Let me be, let me be what the reality shape me
To her:
Never forget
The day that our destinies join us together
Never forsake
The good old time that we used to share
Though our fate ends here
But you something that I will ever mislay
Not intended to turn this blog into such a emo place
But things that I can control won't bother me this much
Or I should say I can manage study, health and other stuff very well
However, there is only one thing that keep bugging me
sigh... what the deuce
Seldom struggle this long for a relationship before
Is it the price to pay for changes?
May be it doesn't worth being a new me cos it hurt more than it can bear
But ffs, I try to forget, but can never forgo
It is stupid to wait, it is stupid to let yourself stuck here
How come I cannot pull myself out this time
I don't want to pretend nothing's wrong already...
It is too tiring
Let me be, let me be what the reality shape me
To her:
Never forget
The day that our destinies join us together
Never forsake
The good old time that we used to share
Though our fate ends here
But you something that I will ever mislay
14.5.09
4.5.09
read it from other people xanga.. so nice
i will never forget the night we were lost beneath the sky
with evening dew soaking through the backs of our shirts
and twigs clinging to the knotted masses of our hair.
i will never forget the tingling feeling i had in my stomach
from going on the tilt-a-whirl with you right after eating.
or the skewed vision and the dizziness that was a result
of screaming too much on that big scary ride i hated.
i've forgotten the things you'd been talking about but
i'll never forget the way your face lit up when you did.
i'll never forget the way you fell silent and your face
turned a violent shade of red when you noticed that
you had been talking the whole time.
i'll never forget the smile that followed when you
realized that i didn't mind listening.
i'll never forget that it was that moment,
that one little moment,
where i felt more okay than i had all year.
and when you took my hand in yours
and pressed your lips to mine,
nothing mattered but you.
you saved me from myself that night.
don't ever forget it.
love,
marcus
with evening dew soaking through the backs of our shirts
and twigs clinging to the knotted masses of our hair.
i will never forget the tingling feeling i had in my stomach
from going on the tilt-a-whirl with you right after eating.
or the skewed vision and the dizziness that was a result
of screaming too much on that big scary ride i hated.
i've forgotten the things you'd been talking about but
i'll never forget the way your face lit up when you did.
i'll never forget the way you fell silent and your face
turned a violent shade of red when you noticed that
you had been talking the whole time.
i'll never forget the smile that followed when you
realized that i didn't mind listening.
i'll never forget that it was that moment,
that one little moment,
where i felt more okay than i had all year.
and when you took my hand in yours
and pressed your lips to mine,
nothing mattered but you.
you saved me from myself that night.
don't ever forget it.
love,
marcus
26.4.09
22.4.09
Finally I see HER again for God knows how many months
Though we chat almost everyday through msn
However, i still prefer face-to-face conversation
Yea it gives me a chance to confess, express how I felt to you
But does it really matter to you?
*I guess not*
My friend told me once, it still hurts when he see someone he really fall for before
I told him to relax blablabla stuff,
It sounds easy, he also understand what am I trying to say,
But doing it is another story.
After i sent her back home,
I really want to drive back home without caring the speed limit, but i didn't,
I take time instead.
New environment really change and shape people surround you, your friend, boy/girlfriend..etc
Both in good and bad ways.
I realize your changes,
There is something I can see behind you,
I don't want to say anything,
But what if the thing I see is true, she is gonna fall so bad..
However you cannot stop her from doing anything,
I don't have the right and I won't
Just wish I am wrong and all the best..
But if you don't believe what I am telling you,
Why you bother asking in the first place
May be it is time to fade
Let me fade, let me vanish
Let me rot, let me perish
I will be the current to help you fly
Spread your wings and shine
Like the sparkling firework
Don't look back
I will be the smoke remain
Wind will blow me away
You won't be seeing it again
-edit-
this picture is just for fun, but i think most guys share the same feeling..lol
Though we chat almost everyday through msn
However, i still prefer face-to-face conversation
Yea it gives me a chance to confess, express how I felt to you
But does it really matter to you?
*I guess not*
My friend told me once, it still hurts when he see someone he really fall for before
I told him to relax blablabla stuff,
It sounds easy, he also understand what am I trying to say,
But doing it is another story.
After i sent her back home,
I really want to drive back home without caring the speed limit, but i didn't,
I take time instead.
New environment really change and shape people surround you, your friend, boy/girlfriend..etc
Both in good and bad ways.
I realize your changes,
There is something I can see behind you,
I don't want to say anything,
But what if the thing I see is true, she is gonna fall so bad..
However you cannot stop her from doing anything,
I don't have the right and I won't
Just wish I am wrong and all the best..
But if you don't believe what I am telling you,
Why you bother asking in the first place
May be it is time to fade
Let me fade, let me vanish
Let me rot, let me perish
I will be the current to help you fly
Spread your wings and shine
Like the sparkling firework
Don't look back
I will be the smoke remain
Wind will blow me away
You won't be seeing it again
-edit-
this picture is just for fun, but i think most guys share the same feeling..lol
6.4.09
5.4.09
broken
May be it is time to move on
May be you make up your mind already
Let it be, if that is our destiny
Let it go, but the scar is still there
I thought it won't hurt, but obviously I am wrong
Why I cannot erase you away from my heart, mind and soul
I don't want to be like that anymore
I cannot hold anymore harm and pain
My body is already torn into pieces
I have no more strength to fight anymore
Why don't you just make an end now and ever
Let me break into pieces and let the wind blow me away
Let me lay on the ground, everywhere, anywhere
I believe one day there is someone can make me complete again
I hope that is you, but is it possible
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